Thursday, August 28, 2008

Everything's Down

Broadband down, health down, finances going down. Just about what can go down, goes down. Luckily I'm at the elf's place booking air tickets. Finally after everything's done, there's some time for me to blog a little.

It's bad that I'm reaching home late every night and sleeping late. Now my brain feels filled with mucus. Ah well, at least ticketing is done!!!

Till my broadband recovers... Hopefully after Silas helps me look at it.

Monday, August 25, 2008

It's Late.

Having poured out what I wanted to say or what's on my mind always feels better, even having to take up 2 hours or so to type them out in 4 entries. Well, posts have been lacking the past week anyway.

It's late into the night, my eye lids are heavy, but yeah, 'me' time rocks.
Your Value System

Just one month back at the EXCO retreat, we were told to identify values we related to and rank them in order of importance. That forms part of our value system.

My top 3 values:

1. Freedom
2. Decision-making (can't remember the exact words)
3. Passion (If I didn't remember the word wrongly)

By freedom, it means being able to do the things you want to do; by decision making, it means that making decisions are very important; by passion, it means the things that one likes to do is important.

Accordingly, if your values come under threat or it has to be put aside or when things you have to do contradict with it, then one will become very unhappy. While doing this exercise, kor was just mentioning that he finally understood why mum told him that I have a weird temperament. Well, that's because my top value is freedom. Having brought up in a home where freedom and personal space was a priority to all of us, naturally there's this more rebellious streak in me.

What's your value system?
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What's your Personality Profile?

Surely most of us have done a form of personality profiling or another. In JC, I did the DISC personality profiling. In EXCO retreats, I did the BEST personality profiling. Well, both are pretty similar.

D - Dominant = likes control and be the boss
I - Influential = likes to talk a lot and influence people
S - Sociable = likes to socialize a lot
C - Compliant = everything must be correct, follows rules and regulations

B - Bossy = equivalent to the D
E - Expressive = equivalent to the I
S - Sociable = equivalent to the S
T - Thinker = equivalent to the C

If you didn't know, there's an inherent (in-born) and adapted (adapted to situations) profile of everyone. For me, I'm a DC or a BT. Inherently a D or a B, adapted a C or a T. In fact, it is a contradicting personality because the bossy or the dominant tends to be very decisive, impatient, quick and on the ball while the compliant or the thinker tends to indulge a lot into details and usually get so caught up by it that they spend too much time on details.

Thus, having to struggle with being deciding quick and being careful about details, I get frustrated. But it's not that having this personality means you will be that forever, it's also about learning how to adapt to situations and use them to your advantage.

Apparently, my S and E/I are the lowest. It shows that I don't really like to talk or socialize a lot. Similarly, it doesn't mean that I'm forever like that, I still can rise to the occasion and adapt, just with some effort.

Also, under most situations, people will show their adapted profiles, but in situations of stress then the inherent profile gets out. So, seen me in both before? (:
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Just spending sometime typing out and reflecting on my personality. Sometimes when there's no one to talk to - or at least not at this time - it's nice to talk about it to yourself on the blog - a personal space though open to public viewing.

And to kor kor, I need that heart-to-heart-brother-sister talk. Bet you'll understand me better than anyone else.
A Weekend it was.

A weekend it is, the end to another week, yet the start to another week. Events galore this weekend. Good, bad, terrible, horrible.

I'm just so afraid to type about things sometimes, scared that the motor mouth will bring about motor fingers that shoot off without thinking first. There's always the edit button, but what's the use if I can't type what I want to in my blog?

Hey pal, your harsh cold reminders are lacking. I did myself some good. Help me pal. Maybe remind me once again that I gotta be better at juggling stuff, or remind me that I'm overly stretched, that that break is important so that I don't lose myself again. Or just remind me that I shouldn't be looking for excuses and escape, and deal with it the way I always do.

Ah well, the end of the weekend. Tomorrow will be a better day, I believe.
好多感触。。。

为什么事情偏偏要在这个时间发生呢?

可能我真的没有能力把现在的状况处理的像我那平时萧洒的处理方式。

可能是我真的太忙了,把平时人以人的关系给搞坏了。

突然间,我把我全学会的玲听计巧一切给忘得一干二净,

把我细心的那一面给埋住了。

可能是我在找借口,以为每个人都会像家人或好友明白我现在的处境。

或者,是我太自私了,爱我自己比爱别人还要来得好几万倍。

好烦, 好累。

可能当我以为我真的很有信心我能把一切搞好,我太自以为是了。

不知所错的感觉不好受。

Friday, August 22, 2008

Long Days

After tv scripting started on Tuesdays, I've been ending my days late. After lessons, tuition. After tuition then have dinner at 10pm. Then? Finally got time to clear up emails and do my stuff.

Blogging? Too tired really. And of course cutting about 20 minutes for Mr. Good Morning before he sleeps. The 3 long days for this week has ended. Tomorrow's a long day as well though. Getting some administration done in the morning, school and then pak tor!

Long days have an advantage. The day passes by really quickly. It's already 12.45am before I know it. Feels like I've only been home just a while ago. Plus, the day is fruitful because things get done. But more personal time is always welcome on days as such. Today's sentence structures are not perfect as well. I'm kinda drained and just updating a lil'.

Till tomorrow if I have more energy to post an entry with proper sentences.

Monday, August 18, 2008

National Day Rally

If you didn't catch it, here is one perk we are getting this year.

1 October when the GST Credits/Growth Dividends come in, the government is topping it up by 50%. It means MORE money. This is the most direct thing affecting us... YAHOO! Eh, some money is better than nothing.

The rest, go watch yourself lah.
Trust and Transparency

It is said that trust is one of the building blocks of a relationship. Indeed it is. However, it is not always easy to trust someone fully, or at least not when you haven't known each other for long. Then is it me that is overly-suspicious or it's just that trust ain't easy to earn? Well, I believe in the latter.

If you have been a victim of being cheated on, then it really isn't easy for one to give off trust just like that. Perhaps sometimes we should let our guard down, leave things to nature, follow our heart and just believe. But when 'logic and reason' comes in, it can leave you quite frustrated.

Similarly, transparency is probably also one of important factors in a relationship. Sometimes we wonder if 100% transparency is the best thing. On the surface, yes. It leaves with no doubts and suspicions. But what if something that your partner is going to know will cause a potential huge quarrel? Is it worth the hide to cause less distress to each other and let it prick your conscience or spill it all out and live with a clear conscience?

Haha. Sounds like an extra-martial affair eh?

Well, I think that since a commitment has been made, then the trust and transparency should be there. At least that will eliminate a whole load of problems tied with lies.

These are just some opinions of mine after some thoughts. Such opinions are subjective. If you feel strongly about what I've said, don't be. I am entitled to post how I feel, and I won't impose them on you.
Weekly Ramblings

Research Methodology is over, and over for good. The paper was one of those I felt least confidence in. But I survived and television scripting up next! No syllabus, no nothing, how to know what to read in the S$49.90 textbook? -_-

The weekend was well spent. Some time to talk about stuff, spending time together, treading uncharted waters and doing random silly stuff. Not too bad. More time for such is always welcome though.

Today's a bad day. Suddenly realized that 2 meetings are clashing together. Area Council Meeting + PA Humorous Speech Contest Committee meeting. Which to go? Let me just go to the one which is more important at least for now.

School's starting again! Whee. One more module and another module and I'm flying off! Fly fly away. It's a busy 2 weeks ahead. I will survive and rest more this time.

Finally Mr. Good Morning is somewhere nearer to me now, in terms of distance. But does it mean more chances to meet? Probably not, or not the first few days of this week. ):

Friday, August 15, 2008

Pissed

Oh, say hi to pissed mode before an exam. Nice move.

After a whole day of waiting, no news. Great.

You know, a call will make a difference.

Come on, more chapters to go.

Well, I'll just be fine.

Say hi to DA MAN.
RESEARCH METHODOLOGY ASSIGNMENT COMPLETE !

4434 words and 28 pages,

Wasted 2 pages for printing. -_-

I'm so proud of myself! (:

Thursday, August 14, 2008

Daily Rambles

After one busy first half of the week, it's time to put full concentration on assignment and exam. You know, assignments and exams ain't difficult, it's just tedious. There are no trick questions, just application questions. I like school, but not the assignment-exam part.

All's going well with Mr. Good Morning, just that we only meet once a week, or sometimes twice if time allows. Hmm, as to his picture, well he's botak now. Probably when he grows longer hair then take picture lah. And the morning messages still come in the mornings! Only weekdays though. Haha. -_-

Toastmasters was a blast with the many walk-in guests and one sign up! Of course, we also had some power houses to help us out. And not to mention EYE CANDY!!! Charming guy. (: But I spoke in total of 15 minutes so after that you don't really feel like talking anymore. An inherent introvert needs to revert back to herself after being an extrovert for a full 4 hours. Haha.

Things are going well, except for the occasional hectic life in between. But when there's someone out there who understands and respects that, you can't really ask for more, can you? (:

Sunday, August 10, 2008

Long Weekend!

I like long weekends now, not because I have an extra day off, but someone else has. (:

Today was pretty fruitful, had tuition, finally bought the book that I wanted to buy (The Undercover Economist), and of course had lunch with the significant other and sat around talking and crapping till the cows came home.

Ah, how nice to have someone understand the frustrations and irritations of rushing about and giving me the entitlement to take my time.

Oh, and a peek at the blue roses...

Close-up!

I'm one lucky girl. (:

I'm running outta words. Till next time!

Saturday, August 09, 2008

The Waves of Confusion

It's the confusion again. How come it happens each time I thought I was ready? Maybe the rational part is getting the better of me, or perhaps after a hell-ish week, I have some time to do a lil' thinking about stuff. The song on my blog truly fit me to a T.

I don't want it to be another rush, another bad decision, another mistake. Once bitten, twice shy. Twice shy, thrice shy-er! Ah well. How do I know if I'm really sure? Or is there really a time that I can really be sure? Or maybe I shouldn't be thinking this much.

Perhaps you can give me some reassurance. Maybe that is something that I need.
HAPPY NATIONAL DAY PEOPLE !!!
08/08/08

The supposedly auspicious date,

The Official Opening Ceremony of the Beijing Olympics 2008.

A bouquet of 6 blue roses,

A seat at the Ritz Carlton,

The official beginning of yet another chapter. (:

Wednesday, August 06, 2008

Looooooooong Day.

It has really been a long day.

12nn - 2.20pm Lunch with the bestie

2.40pm - 3pm Collect my ORANGE mobile

3pm - 4.30pm Tuition

4.30 - 5.30pm Pray and try to get to Queenstown on time for briefing

5.45 - 6.15pm Useless briefing

6.15 - 7.30pm Pray and rush to Ang Mo Kio for EXCO meeting

7.30 - 9pm EXCO meeting + Mc-chicken/cookies/beebee snack for dinner

9.30pm Reach home

It seems and feels like I've been all around Singapore today. -_-

Tired out to the max.

Tomorrow's gonna be better, at least I don't have so many things going on on the same day.

BAH.

Where is Mr. Good Morning? ): YAWNZ. *.*

I need my cravings. /:

I want my roti prata, yong tau foo, fried chicken wings, tang yuan, bin bin rice crackers, dim sum, fried kuay teow from Thai Express (& Mr. Good Morning?).

Aye, tired and stretched out people have sweet and salty cravings.

Time passes fast when you've got things to do. How true.

I want Friday to come, NOW!
ROAR!!

Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck! Fuck those people who think they deserve a slot in our club. Talk about accommodating. You are coming to MY CLUB, you should accommodate us instead. We are doing you a favour, out of goodwill. Get it right mister. No, I'm not opening the speaking slot to you unless it is still vacant two days before the meeting. Or even, I'd rather hold my Hearing, Listening & Comprehending session for variety for my club members. Membership MUST have its privileges. Irritating people.

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Happier Note


Today has been a fruitful day. Tuition in the afternoon, completed the primary 4 math syllabus with my kid. (: Like it's only August, so there's plenty of time for revision! From this week onwards, I'm officially tutoring 7 days a week. Congratulations Esther, you're almost a full-time tutor and money is rolling in. Say hello to Disneyworld in no time. (:

Tomorrow's a loooooong day. Collecting my phone in the morning, meeting RP for lunch followed by tuition in the afternoon before rushing down for a briefing and then exco meeting in the evening. Goodness gracious. Things have to come on the week that I want to start my assignment. Nice.

Thursday is a short one however. But Mr. Good Morning is going outfield tomorrow and will only be back on Thursday evening. Kinda worried since he's pretty ill.

Oh, I caught Money No Enough 2 today. It's a good show. Amidst all the Hokkien, at least there were subtitles. The usual self-deprecating jokes made to Singapore, and the touching story within the show that brings you to tears. Kinda typical of Jack Neo shows eh? But I rate it 4/5. Worth a watch, and worth buying the DVD after that for collection. Seriously, the issues within the movie also sets you some food for thought.

Saturday is National Day. Any plans yet? I'm having the usual coop-up-at-home to watch NDP Live on the telly with the matriarch. Plans are to ta-bao fried chicken and savour it with mum while watching NDP. No dates this Saturday. National Day you know, must be patriotic, or at least for that day. Haha.

On an ending note, he actually stayed awake till midnight for me to reach home after my movie. Eh, I know you're gonna read this, and you should be resting more!!! Resting more!!! Resting more!!!

But yeah, there's this great amount of personal space between us since we're both occupied on weekdays, for me, even on weekends. Well, it shows I can live without you. Or rather, absence makes the heart fonder. Guys, there are always two sides to a coin, ain't it?

And what about the good thing that happened to my life? Ah, great days start with messages from people like you.

Tuesday, August 05, 2008

OFF Day!

Guess what? Someone gets an off day too! Mr. Good Morning does not send morning messages on weekends!! It's usually because he can't get outta until afternoon, so the morning messages become afternoon ones instead. On the other hand, morning messages are sent by me on weekends because I'm up early to head for tuition. How interesting. He has a title for me as well - "Mrs. Good Morning". Haha. We shall see whether I'll be willing to accept the title ok!

This morning when pressing the snooze button on my handphone, I saw that there was this sms from Mr. Good Morning, just that I was too tired to read it. Since I didn't reply, I think Mr. Good Morning decided to call on me at 11+am. He was commenting the previous night that he hasn't heard my morning voice, so he called on purpose this morning. BOO. Nice and sexy huh? Bleah.

But the poor guy is feeling worse from his impending huge illness. Running nose and sore throat. His speech is so slurred that when he was talking to me, he had to repeat himself an average of 5 times before I could get what he was saying. Sorry sorry! Haha. I shan't disclose the content of the conversation but it was really funny. Haha.

Till the next morning message...

"It'll be a good day ahead, cos Mr. Good Morning said so. =)"

Ah well, the day will always be good with Mr. Good Morning. (:

Sunday, August 03, 2008

Out to Town Day

Saturday came and went. After a easy-going morning 2-hour Chemistry & English tuition, it was lunch at Plaza Singapura at Thai Express. I was hoping for some tom yum soup, but since the other half wasn't up for it, it fell through. Anyway, it's the other half because there are only 2 of us. Then the lazy-Saturday-afternoon syndrome hit us. Just felt like sitting around and stoning the day away. So, the afternoon was spent first stoning at the outdoor amphitheatre, exploring PageOne at Vivocity and stoning once again at Secret Recipe.

God knows what happened to the watermelon juice I ordered. You could get diabetics from one sip of it. Prolly syrup was the culprit. After a change, it tasted more normal. At least the sweetness was appropriate for a cup of watermelon juice. Yeah, beware of juices when you go to Secret Recipe.

In the evening, the initial plan of exploring Fullerton was on its way. Who knows on our way to Fullerton, fireworks start sprouting from the floating stage and there we were catching fireworks live together shoulder to shoulder. Though each firework lasted only for that few seconds, I guess it lived its life well for ending it so beautifully. Fireworks always amazes me to no end, especially watching it with a significant other.

And yes, another new found chill out place for free with live band. Shan't tell you where, but comfy couches with cushions plus jazzy classical music? Nice. Nice to get all comfortable with the nice ambience. (:

What more to end the day with a nice meal once again at Thai Express which was supposed to be a dessert meal. In the end the whiffs of food couldn't stop my hunger from coming up. Oh, do try the fried kuay teow with seafood and 'chye po'. It is wonderfully good, better than eating rice with something. But it was unintentional to be such a supporter of Thai Express yesterday. Well, just take it that there are 4 outlets in City Hall area.

Blah blah blah. It was a 'cold affair' taking public transport with him. According to him, since he hasn't been taking the train for a while, it's fun to observe people on the train. So he was, noticing and commenting about giving up my priority seat loud enough for the commented-person to hear. How scary. But yeah, thumbs up to bulging muscles and fire extinguishers eh?

The poor guy is sick today. Prolly too much fried and junk food over the weekend. You know, you should take care and recover soon. And drink more liang teh. So it's your turn to be on 'silent mode'... and on vibration... In any case, get well for National Day dude.

Till when I'm in the mood for my next paragraph-ic post, it's probably verse form if I'm too tired of forming paragraphs.

Boo... Assignment and exams... AGAIN. :(