The real thing

My dad's surgery is tomorrow.

I met him today, we haven't met in a long long time.

We went together to get his admissions done,

Then we went for lunch.

For once, I saw myself in my dad.

Over lunch, he told me that all operations come with risks,

Though it is a common surgery, we must be mentally prepared.

He said something that made me weep all the way home.

He said, "If I make it then ok, if I don't then I'll be seeing you for the last time."

Tears rolled down at once.

Not only mine, but his.

Sometimes it's not that I want to be pessimistic,

But I just can't help it.

I couldn't concentrate on my speech or Toastmasters today.

Each time somebody asked me what's wrong, I felt like crying.

Let me get through tomorrow and I'll be better.

My dad says to go do my own stuff and not worry,

But how not to worry?

Even considering what happened before, I still have your blood in me.

I still want to see you live of course.

I can't wait for 12.30pm tomorrow.

I'll see you then, dad.