Dread, Pain and Hope.

It's getting dreadful once more.

It's painful to dread going to work.

But hope is coming.

*Fingers crossed*

Love-Hate

I'm miserable. Miserable when I have nothing to do because I feel useless. Miserable when I have something to do from the pressures of exemplary standards required and the extra hours needed. Miserable because I reach home later. Miserable because I hate agency life. Yet love it when my ideas get recognized or praised. Oh WTF.

Suddenly the feeling turns from hate to love then to hate the next moment. Argh.

Yes, yes. Come to terms with it right. Yeah, I also want to lor. Such a pain in the arse.

My Student (with teeth!)

It was back to tutoring a k2 student I taught last year after a 7 month hiatus. She's in primary one now. Glad to see how well she is doing - excellent reader for her age, recognizes words like nobody's business!

So easy and fun to teach. (: And her front two teeth has grown out now. :D So cute.

Great way to start a Saturday morning!

Leap of Faith (or...)

I was talking to a friend last night, and then my brother this morning (more like a SMS conversation). Seems like what I intend to do, is not so bad after all! Finally I get to move on to something I like doing, enjoy doing and will earn me money as I do it.

Just that this not-exactly leap of faith won't happen so soon due to timing factors. Oh, persevere persevere and persevere. I will get through this!

Unhappiness.

As much as I try to be happy at work, things just happen and throws me overboard. I have a list of 22 things to be grateful for at work, but it doesn't work. Maybe this is really not the place for me.

The public sector seems like the greener pasture, with more job stability although the threat of retrenchment still lingers.

I'm clueless.

Of course, it doesn't help when some people with zero or negative EQ bugs you like nobody's business. IMMATURE!

Work (yes work again.)

I have temporarily decided to stay in my job for a while, and on one night, my sixth sense told me to pay job sites a visit. Ta-da! Saw my company advertising for my position. So, there are three possibilities:

1) The other writer is leaving.
2) I will be asked to leave.
3) We are expanding.

Option one is quite probable judging from the long sleeve shirts he has been wearing the past weeks and the many openings at other companies. When I sounded him out, he didn't answer my question, so who knows?

Option 2 is also possible, in my company, job security level quite low, even after you pass your probation, you might be asked to leave anytime.

Option 3 quite out of the question since we got nothing to much to these two months. There's nothing I can do now, just wait and see, since the boss will give advance notice if I have to go.

And today, the boss called for a meeting to talk about people coming in late. Our official hours require us to step in before 10am (quite a luxurious time), but some have been coming in at 10.30am. Yes, overboard definitely. Unless we stay late, we must be in before ten. And so, those who are perpetually late looked down when the boss spoke. Thereafter, showed black faces.

If you were wrong in the first place, then face the music. Why be so unhappy about it?

Work has been pretty frustrating, some people don't cooperate, affecting the team and teamwork. Maybe teamwork does not mean much to them. I'm not sure.

I'm constantly thinking whether I should really stay... Let me not make a hasty decision, and ponder for a while more first.